Like An Angel Hitting Your Windshield
by Kaern-JN
Summary: Naota is now in college and his life is back to being normal... till he gets visited by the last person he wanted to see again. Rated for language so far... the rest is coming up in the later chapters. R&R! HxN It done, ok? No more chapters. Capeesh?
1. When The Angel Returns

[Authors Note: I do not own FLCL or any of the characters in this story. If I did this would be it's own little TV-Movie like the realy bad DBZ movies... *dreams* fear the sick!]  
  
They say when something terrible happens it sticks to you, your mind just won't let go of it, it torments you. In my case this wasn't true. After the terrible events in my home town everything went back to normal, my father became a great editor, my grandfather lived a happy life till he died 4 months later of a heart failure. I'm in college now, me and some of my friends from before. They forgot most of the accident too... life is back to normal. Everything stopped though... at 4:45 P.M. on a Friday.  
  
I was headed back to my dorm room from helping the assistant professor of history, the recently rehabilitated Kitsurubami, with some filing when Gaku stopped me.  
  
"Hey Naota," he said. "Some hot girl was looking for you, said it was important. She's in your dorm waiting for you." He added with a wink, "Good job."  
  
Now at first I thought, "Hey, mabey it's a fan of my brother... or a friend of one of my friends..." but the minute I got in front of my door I knew something was wrong. There was a guitar playing... "Please tell me that was a guitar on the radio," I thought. I let out a sigh, it was the radio. My dorm was empty save for a few magazines on the floor and a coke can. "Why am I so jumpy?" I asked myself as I passed out on my bed.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
I almost died at that point. A voice... a voice from under my bed. Was I awake? Was I hearing things?  
  
"Hey... theres a flashlight under here... and a sketchbook... hey! A cd player! Why Takun keep all the good stuff hidden?" The voice asked.  
  
"Who... who are you? Where are you!?" I was loosing it, but who wouldn't in this case?   
  
"Hey! Theres some nude drawings in here! Help me out of here so I can kick your-"  
  
I knew who it was... I didn't but I did. There was something in the back of my head, in my fears, telling me exactly what it was. Still, I did as the voice ordered and began moving my boxes from under the bed only to see the last thing I wanted to see.  
  
"Aww, little Takun all grown up! Mabey you won't let me kick your ass anymore?" It was... not it couldn't of been...  
  
Haruko slid out from under the bed and stood up. For once she should look into his eyes without having to look down.  
  
"I miss the bunk bed, you are gonna have to get one in here... mabey clean up the place a bit..." Naota had forgotten about her, had almost forgotten about- His thoughts were interupted by Haruko glomping him. And if things couldn't get worse, Kitsurubami walked in on the two.  
  
"Naota! You know women arn't allowed in the male dorms!" She shouted, she has forgotten completely about Haruko.  
  
"...but she's... she's..." Naota didn't know what to do. He was being glomped by an alien who ruined his life and was now in deep shit.  
  
"But... since you did save me a days work I'll let it slide... I'll just move along... have fun you two." And with that she left.  
  
"I will." Naota cringed as Harukos tounge slid across his cheek.  
  
"Let go let go let go!" Naota cried out, and she obeyed.  
  
"...I said let go not drop me hard on the floor." Naota rubbed his head.  
  
"Now were you listening? I demaned a bunk bed... or a double," She winked. "And how about a dresser? Do you expect ME to leave my clothes on the floor like you do? Right now I'm stepping in Takun undies."  
  
Naota blushed, he was confused for the most part. Why had she come back? Why to him?  
  
"Your confused, guess you do deserve an explanation... when I went back I got into some trouble... as in I got fired. Apparently I broke alot of laws when I was over here. Well, life was hell being jobless and I couldn't get anyone to hire me. Then I remembered, hey, I could mooch off someone! But everyone I knew was dead... except you. I've been looking for you for years." She explained, sadly while examining the "Takun undies" she had been walking on.  
  
Naota grabbed the underwear from her. "Those are mine!"  
  
"Then lets see the ones you have on!" Haruko jumped, missing Naota but hitting a box of manga.  
  
"What makes you think I'll let you mooch off me?" Naota did feel sorry for her but he didn't want her knowing it. She is the last person who needed to know that.  
  
"Because your sweet, kind, and I can embarrass you with those realy bad naughty drawings... by the way women don't look like that. You draw duck moose human hybrids!" Haruko pulled out her bass from under the bed.  
  
Naota's insticts took over and he quickly covered his head.  
  
"But you heard her... no women in the men's dorms." Naota looked up, she was actually just laying it down on his bed.  
  
"That means you had better get my apartment. Mature men need to know how to take care of a lady." Haruko flipped through some of the manga she had found, most of it was simply vampire comics and things about people from another world... the last one is what caught her. It wasn't a published manga, something Naota had done himself. 'Vespa Woman' "Awww... little Takun did something on little old... is my nose realy that big?"  
  
"I am not buying you an apartment... and my art skills suck, ok? I wasn't ment to play baseball or draw..." Naota sat down on his bed, moving the bass.  
  
"I have SOME money you know..." Haruko said, pulling out a strange purple coin currency.  
  
"...I take it that's your planets currency?" Naota asked, poking at it.  
  
"...good point. Besides, I'd share. Come on, I need a place to stay. People out there are strange. Come on Takun..." Naota couldn't believe this. Haruko seemed to change before his eyes, she was on her knees begging.  
  
"Fine. But you have to be my housekeeper, just like old times?" Naota smiled.  
  
And with that Haruko jumped up and glomped him again.  
  
"So what are you two? Siblings? Man and wife?" The landlord asked, showing them around the medium sized apartment. It was nice, a bedroom, bathroom with shower, kitchen area, and living area. Even a closet which Naota could hide in when Haruko made curry.  
  
"Boyfriend and girlfriend." Haruko anwsered for him. Naota's eyes grew bigger than his head.  
  
"No! Just friends..." He yelled, blushing.  
  
"...right. Seeing as how I can see you are a college boy and I do need the money... 40 a week." The landlord was female, slightly older than Naota's father.  
  
Again, before Naota could speak Haruko yelled, "We'll take it!"  
  
"Good... I expect this week's payment by tommorow... the rest will be at the beginning of every week you live here." The landlord said as she left.  
  
"...I have a hundred and fifty yen in the world." Naota sighed.  
  
"Don't worry, I can find a job on Earth. What's a job that'd accept me?" Haruko asked, her grin was both evil and friendly.  
  
"Executioner... mass murderer... prostitute..." Naota listed, hoping she didn't catch the last one.  
  
"I'll be a waitress!" Haruko knocked Naota onto the floor as her arms flew up into the air.  
  
"Great," Naota thought. "I'm stuck in an apartment with an insane alien who wants to be a waitress..." then he looked at her. "And I couldn't be happier."  
  
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Kinda strange, but please review anyway. Flames are accepted... just be intelligent with it. Next chapters will be better, I promise. Also they won't be as short. 


	2. When The Angel Is Changed

[Authors Note: the past chapter was from at the first half of the first chapter was from Naotas POV, unless noted by me it is in Naotas POV. Mmkay? Again, I don't own FLCL.]  
  
This day felt so strange. It started out just like every other... then she came back, and since then everything has been out of the ordinary. It was strange though, it seemed she had changed alot. Right now she is off looking for a job while I get the groceries. Just the basics though. Bread, milk, ramen, cola, curry, and I got her a bag of Lays. I was in the midst of trying to open the door and hold the bags at the same time when I heard her.  
  
"Takuuuun! I did it! I found a job!" She yelled, I could here the Vespa screech as it got onto the sidewalk. I just smiled as she took one of the bags and opened the door for me.  
  
"Waitress?" I asked, unloading everything onto the counter.  
  
"Nope. You know that bar across from the mall?"  
  
"...uh oh," I thought. "Please not the strip bar. Please not the strip bar."  
  
"Not the strip one... but the one a few buildings down," I sighed. It was strange, I shouldn't of cared. Mabey she didn't change and I did?  
  
"Oh... yeah? Bartender?" I asked, handing her the bag of chips.  
  
"Nope. They were looking for a band to play tommorow night... and I do have my guitar..." Oh well, could of been worse. She could of been a lap dancer. "Thanks for caring."  
  
I looked up at her. Then it hit me... just like all the baseballs during PE. "I get it. You're some alien in Haruko's body, arn't you?"  
  
She just looked at me funny and stretched out on... wait a second. "When did we get a couch?"  
  
"I met up with your father at the bar. Since your grandpa died he's had some extra furniture... including this old thing. I got the bunk bed back." Haruko simply closed her eyes and dozed right off after those words.  
  
So far, things were ok. Might of been the first day but... no robots... cat ears... horny family members... or discussions over groping or furi kuri. I wouldn't tell her this but I wouldn't even care if the robots came back, I missed her. Even if she only used me... I loved her. Oh crap... what if she has mind reading abilities?Oh well, most she'll do is hit me with that guitar. Mabey I'll just curl up...  
  
---The next morning---  
  
I must of been asleep for hours... it was morning again... but something is different. I had fallen asleep on the floor, not making it to the bed. But now... I am asleep on the top bunk... and either she got an electric blanket... I'm not the only person up here.  
  
"No more curry," a sleeping Haruko mumbled.  
  
"Hey! Get outta my bed!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.  
  
Haruko just squinted and said, "The top bunk has always been my bed Takun." then went back to sleep.  
  
Even worse, I was asleep in her bed. Had she moved me up there? I didn't care... I just rolled off the bed without even thinking and *crash!*  
  
"Takun! You okay!?" Haruko stuck her head over the side of the top bunk. I wanted to say not realy but I couldn't get anything to come out. "While you're down there can you hand me my shirt?"  
  
I didn't need to say a thing, she saw my eyes. "I still have on clothes... for now, naughty Takun." I did as she said.  
  
It seemed like only seconds ago I was enjoying/bored with a nice peaceful life... just everything normal... and it was all changed by a pink haired alien who couldn't get my name right... though I didn't know a lady who didn't call me Takun. Mabey I'll just accept it as my name.Haruko hopped down from my bed in her shirt and underwear, almost stepping on my head.  
  
"Oh... by the way Eri came to see you this morning... I think. She came up to the front door, looked at what I was wearing, then ran off crying." But Haruko wasn't a lady, not at all. Infact as I was thinking that she proved it by scratching her butt.  
  
"What were you wearing?" I asked, worried that Eri misunderstood why Haruko was here.  
  
"My shirt."  
  
"...and?" A great man once said that a brave person neednt fear anything of worry... this man never met Haruko.  
  
"...and what? I was in my shirt."  
  
Oh god. A woman that had feelings for me... was probably about to ask me out... but was greeted by a half naked vespa woman. What could be worse?  
  
"Also some of your friends from school came... and Mammimi."  
  
Haruko hadn't changed I guess. She was still hell bent on making my life miserable and just plain strange.  
  
"You're kidding! All of those people saw you nude!?" I screamed so loud she was knocked into the bottom bunk.  
  
"Not naked, Takun. I had my shirt on... and besides, are you jealous?"   
  
"NO!" I yelled.  
  
"Yes you are... come on, admit it. You love me. Don't you? Don't you?" She was doing it again, getting inside my head. My brain was telling me to tell her I loved her... but sadly I never listened to my mind after she destroyed it when I first met her.  
  
"No. And what would you know!? You don't even know what love is! You go around using people and hitting them with your scooter! I could never love you!" And today wasn't the day I was going to... and before I realized what I had said, she had run off in tears... coming back only for her pants, then left again. Slamming the apartment door behind her, and the sounds of her Vespa starting followed seconds later.  
  
What had I done... I realy do love her... it's just hard to tell her that. Oh well... she couldn't of gone far... I hope... I hope she didn't leave me again.  
  
---11:30 P.M., that day. Haruko's POV---  
  
I bombed... I just couldn't find the right strings... my mind was too busy thinking about what I had done to him... about how I ruined his life. I had to go back... just to apologize. I opened the door to our apartment via the key I had nabbed on my rush out before only to see Naota sitting at the door, head turned up and eyes like that of a dog thrown out in the rain.Before I could even get the chance to apologze he was hugging my leg and crying at the same time...  
  
"Please... don't leave me again... I..." His voice was hoarse, he had obviously been crying for a long time now... had he been doing this since I left? What could I say? I just ran my fingers through his hair and said, "I love you too."  
  
After about thirty minutes of apologizing we were sitting on the couch, I was trying to program the peice of crap T.V. his father had given us, and he was staring at me.  
  
"When I joined the squad we had to learn how to program a large electric bomb with the power to kill anyone around it... that was like winding up a toy compaired to this. Channel not found!? You are showing the channel right now you peice of..."   
  
"How was the bar?" Naota interupted me. Apparently he noticed something had pissed me off and it wasn't the television.  
  
"I blew it... I couldn't concentrate on the music... I just kept thinking about what I had done to your life."  
  
"...don't you get it? If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have a life. For two years after you left I wouldn't leave my house because I was worried you'd come back and I wouldn't be there to see you." He had moved to the cushion next to me. I was surprised he had done that over me... since I had used him. I made him think I loved me to get Atmosk... but that plan failed. At the very end I discovered I realy did love him... and that is why I realy came back. I didn't realy get fired... I just said that so he wouldn't be suspicious. In reality I just left my life behind to be with him again...  
  
"This is the best night of my life... I admitted to truly loving someone... I discovered a new form of torture and its name is Zenith... and I have a new reason to stay on Earth." I thought.  
  
My lips were now two cenimeters away from his when the T.V. turned to static... loud static, loud enough that people in the U.K. were afraid.  
  
"Excuse me..." I got up and walked into the closet... followed by words so vulgar if I repeated them a thousand old ladies would die.  
  
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Was it any good? This is my first shot at a romance fic... and my first shot at an FLCL fic. Please R&R. 


	3. When The Angel Gets Down And Dirty

[Authors Note: I have squirrels in my pants.]  
  
Nato woke up in a daze, he couldn't remember anything since Haruko broke the T.V., all he knew was that his eyes wouldn't open and it felt like there was a living creature attached to his body. He knew what this ment... he had seen enough movies to know what was going on. An alien had ripped open his side and was taking his organs to make itself more human. He couldn't dare open his eyes but...  
  
  
  
"...tuna is worth nothing" Haruko mumbled in her sleep, still attached to... wait a second, what did she do last night? Besides smashing the T.V. with her guitar, she couldn't remember. Had she been knocked out? Did a peice of the T.V. fly off and hit her? If so, then why did her pillow feel so fleshy? Then it hit her, the T.V. electrocuted her and Naota and she was feeling what was left of him. She couldn't dare open her eyes but...  
  
Both of them opened their eyes at the same time, Naota screaming and Haruko acting confused. They were both naked on the floor holding each other.  
  
"Holy crap! You raped me! I got raped by an alien!" Naota was screaming and shaking his arms in the air like a preacher at an exorcism.  
  
"I don't know what happend but if anything you raped me. I'd never willingly do it with a human... ok mabey I would, but not after all of that 'alien' talk."  
  
  
  
The night before they had been talking, Haruko got pissed off and destroyed the T.V. That was all they could remember until now. Naota remembered Haruko kissing him... and then he kissed back... then...  
  
"Oh my god we did do it." Naota's eyes were larger than usual (Author's Note: Which is almost impossible), he was panting, and his mind was racing like he had just killed someone. And just like he had just killed someone he spoke up: "This is not 100% my fault! You were in this too!"  
  
"Duh. Oh well... not like anything is gonna happen." Haruko sighed and looked for her clothes which were scattered across the room.  
  
"Pregnancy... I could of gotten AIDS..."  
  
"I've never done it before, and this is the only time you'll ever do it so no to AIDS. Also I kinda doubt someone like you could get anyone pregnant." Haruko looked down at Naota, putting on her shirt.  
  
"Hey! How can you insult me like that? You should be thankful." Naota yelled at her.  
  
"Thankful? I could have sex with any man I want, and you know that. Now let's forget about this and make me some breakfast." Haruko simply got up and layed down on the couch, pointing the remote control at the broken T.V.  
  
Naota stood there, blank faced.  
  
"Did you hear me? I said make me some breakfast!" Haurko threw a ripped up pillow at her. That's when she noticed it too. The apartment was in peices. The pillows were ripped up, the tables were broken in half, the carpest was pushed up, and the curtains were confetti.  
  
"Mabey I should take a pregnancy test." Haruko said, now with eyes as big as Naota's.  
  
He never felt this bad before, not since he had let Haurko leave. Sure, now she was back to stay... but now there was a chance that she was here to stay with a child.  
  
"I pee on this thing?!" Haruko shouted through the bathroom door.  
  
"Preaty sure!" Naota yelled back.  
  
"Now what?"  
  
"Did blue change to pink?"  
  
"Uhh... no. It's green."  
  
Naota was confused, what would green mean? He could see it now, on the side of the package in his mind: "If green, try and get a promotion to God. You're up for centuplets."  
  
Then Haruko stepped out, a pleased look on her face. Naota whimpered, on the verge of wetting his pants.  
  
"I'm...," Haruko paused to torture Naota, "not pregnant."  
  
Naota sighed, then blacked out.  
  
"Hello? Helooooo?"  
  
1:00 P.M.  
  
"Wake up. Wake up. WAKE UP DAMN IT!" Naota felt a kick to his head then opened his eyes, it was Haruko.  
  
"Oh, you're up. Listen... I'm sorry about what I said earlier. If I could have sex with anyone I'd pick you..."  
  
"Well, atleast nobody else knows... right? You didn't answer the door naked again, did you?" Naota looked worried, but it was obvious he was only kidding.  
  
"Yeah. Kinda caught me off guard... it was two guys. One nerdy guy and one that had a circle around his mouth." But Haruko wasn't kidding.  
  
"Great. This will make headlines... 'Earth Boy Screws Guitar-Playing Alien' Then I'll be scratching my balls and watching sports... while you take care of an eight legged, six eyed, three headed alien."  
  
"Hey! I may be an alien but I look like a human, don't I?" Haurko felt insulted.  
  
"Not realy... you sometimes look like a cat." It was true, he could remember many times in which she had pointy eyes and whiskers.  
  
"And sometimes you look like a man." Naota had a bad feeling this would be another one of those 'I insult her, she insults me, this keeps happening till she walks out, I kiss her feet, we do it'  
  
"Atleast I'm supposed to look like a man." Naota cracked. Mabey that is what he wanted. He wasn't sure if this is how love felt, but he knew he liked it.  
  
"I already know how this is gonna go. How about we just skip the arguement and get naked?" Haurko sighed.  
  
"Can I have lunch first?"  
  
"No. Strip damn it." Haruko commanded.  
  
"Fine..." And that was that... imagine the details yourself, you nasty nasty reader. :)  
  
[Authors Note REDUX: Yeah, I felt bad for all those readers who wanted more and I just left them with a crap ending, so I wrote a quick ending chapter. I might do more chapters, longer ones, but I doubt it. Now, for the explanation of the title. The title means 


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